Famous Last Words

"These savages may indeed be a formidable enemy to your raw American militia; but upon the King's regular and disciplined troops, sir, it is impossible they should make any impression."

General Edward Braddock, in reply to Benjamin Franklin, shortly before being mortally wounded in the Battle of Monongahela in 1755 (Franklin devoted several pages of his autobiography to his dealings with the general. Regarding the general's downfall, Franklin noted, "The whole transaction gave us Americans the first suspicion that our exalted ideas of the prowess of British regulars had not been well founded."

U2 in Boston

I saw two out of U2's four Boston shows last week. Undeniably fun, my fandom is certainly rekindled. The band is only barely showing its age, it's four guys who are still giving their all, still able to sonically fill an arena without relying on back-up singers or other gimmicks.

Watching from the general-admission section on the floor with a high-energy crowd was great but the acoustics were terrible, even between songs. Conversely, watching from the loge level made for a better listening experience but standing with a largely torpid and emotionless crowd was a profound embarrassment.

Also, my two nights made for an interesting case study on the economics of ticket reselling. U2's fan base has clearly aged with the band and the numbers of fans who would bother to turn up at a sold-out show with only a hope or a prayer have certainly decreased. Perhaps overlooking such demographics, agents reportedly overbought for the Friday and Saturday shows and as a result great tickets were available for less than face value ($40 for a $300 club-level seat, in one instance) shortly before showtime.

Tuesday was a different story altogether; agent/scalper inventory was thin and the buyer's market evaporated. On top of that, a small number of heroin addicts remained willing to buy tickets after the scheduled start of the show with the hopes of flipping any ticket for enough to score a quick fix. That continued until one managed to do so, collapsed at the foot of the Bobby Orr statue, and was resuscitated by paramedics.

Lastly, if you absolutely *had* to buy a $10 hot dog or an $11.50 Bud Light, I suppose you could do a lot worse than those at the TD Garden.

Rock on.

From the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

The year following, a treaty being to be held with the Indians at Carlisle, the governor sent a message to the House, proposing that they should nominate some of their members, to be joined with some members of council, as commissioners for that purpose. The House named the speaker (Mr. Norris) and myself; and, being commissioned, we went to Carlisle, and met the Indians accordingly.

As those people are extremely apt to get drunk, and, when so, are very quarrelsome and disorderly, we strictly forbade the selling any liquor to them; and when they complained of this restriction, we told them that if they would continue sober during the treaty, we would give them plenty of rum when business was over. They promised this, and they kept their promise, because they could get no liquor; and the treaty was conducted very orderly, and concluded to mutual satisfaction. They then claimed and received the rum; this was in the afternoon: they were near one hundred men, women, and children, and were lodged in temporary cabins, built in the form of a square, just without the town. In the evening, hearing a great noise among them, the commissioners walked out to see what was the matter. We found they had made a great bonfire in the middle of the square; they were all drunk, men and women, quarreling and fighting. Their dark-colored bodies, half naked, seen only by the gloomy light of the bonfire, running after and beating one another with firebrands, accompanied by their horrid yellings, formed a scene the most resembling our ideas of hell that could well be imagined; there was no appeasing the tumult, and we retired to our lodging. At midnight a number of them came thundering at our door, demanding more rum, of which we took no notice.

The next day, sensible they had misbehaved in giving us that disturbance, they sent three of their old counselors to make their apology. The orator acknowledged the fault, but laid it upon the rum; and then endeavored to excuse the rum by saying: "The Great Spirit, who made all things, made everything for some use, and whatever use he designed anything for, that use it should always be Put to. Now, when he made rum, he said,' Let this be for the Indians to get drunk with,' and it must be so." And, indeed, if it be the design of Providence to extirpate these savages in order to make room for cultivators of the earth, it seems not improbable that rum may be the appointed means. It has already annihilated all the tribes who formerly inhabited the sea-coast.

Benjamin Franklin
Passy, 1784